When motherhood feels isolating, don’t miss these 39 conversation starters to make friends fast. Plus, gain more time to spend with friends by getting your home organized and delcuttered with this free “How to Declutter” Checklist!
Sometimes as a mom I feel like I’m in multiple universes, yet so very alone.
I’m trying to run the world of tiny humans swirling around me, all while managing my own planet of task lists, responsibilities, and my own hopes and dreams for the day in the back of my mind.
Then, when I have a moment to reflect, I realize I’d like to press pause, head to Starbucks with a friend, get a toffee nut hot chocolate and just talk.
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But what if you’re thinking, “I have no friends and how do I even start a conversation if I do meet someone?”?
As hard as it is to find time to step off the hamster wheel and pause the craziness of life, it’s harder to make friends you actually want to meet up with.
How do I not make a fool of myself? What do I say? Do the fears and insecurities creep in for you like they do for me when you meet someone new?
Whenever we move with the military, I feel that all over again.
But I’ve found that in order to make friends as an adult, I need to take initiative when I come across a potential friend. For me, that looks like smiling, saying hi, and starting conversations.
I’ve discovered that when I do those things, friendships develop faster.
Yes, sometimes taking initiative falls flat and I’m left feeling kind of awkward. But when it does work into a friendship, or even just an enjoyable conversation, it’s worth the effort.
If you’re wondering how to make friends when you have none, today I’m sharing 39 conversation starters you can use to help transform a stranger into an acquaintance into a friend, quickly and easily.
How To Use These Conversation Starters
Before we totally dive in, I want to tell you how to use this information successfully. Some of these questions are initial questions and some are follow up questions.
Initial questions are good conversation starters to make friends because they’re the very first thing you could say to someone.
Follow-up questions are more like the salt and pepper of the conversation. They give it flavor and keep it from being bland or losing interest altogether. Use those questions as follow-up questions to keep the conversation going, or to dig further into something the other mom said.
Consider What’s Happening Around You
You have to use context for when to use each question, considering what’s happening around you.
For example:
1- A mom is watching her kids play at the playground near your child and you ask her, “How old are your kiddos?”
OR
2- You’re in the grocery store check-out line and you turn to the woman standing alone behind you and ask her: “How old are your kiddos?”
Same question, but lady #2 will probably look around nervously, switch lines or call security.
Now the exception would be if lady #2 had been showing pictures of her kids to the cashier and you were close enough to overhear.
Joining a conversation like that is a great way to make new connections without having to start something from scratch. You’re taking in the context and going with it.
The point is, you don’t want to come across like your head is in a bag. (although these days, you never know what you’ll see at the store). Pay attention to your context and think about what’s happening so you can pick questions that fit the situation.
I’ve broken the following conversation starters up into several categories. You’ll need to decide on the fly whether or not the question is appropriate for that moment.
But if you say something and it comes out all awkward, your face is turning red, and you want to run back to your car… remember this: you can always back track the conversation.
Just laugh and say something like: “Oh wow, that’s too soon. Sorry! Let me start over. I’m Heather, and I’m totally awkward.”
Who knows, maybe they’ll laugh with you and say, “Oh my gosh, I always feel like I say the wrong thing!”
That might just be the start of a life-long bond.
So relax. Even a blunder or two won’t ruin your chances. Nobody is perfect, and we all just want to have a friend or three.
Have fun with these!
Situational:
- How’s your week going?
- What are you up to this weekend?
- Do you know of any fun family activities nearby to check out?
- Can you recommend a hair/nail/massage place?
- Are you from around here originally?
- If not, where are you from?
- What brought you to the area? (often this is how I could discover if someone was a military family, when we lived in military dense areas)
- What part of town do you live in?
- Do you know of a good gym in the area?
- Look at your current location/situation and comment on what you see around you, such as: bad traffic, A car accident, smoke rising in the distance, weather/snow/strong wind, workers digging up the parking lot, “Look at this horrible carpet! What’s the deal with that?” etc.
Home/Family:
- Do you have any pets?
- Have you ever had a Hermit crab? (insert type of pet you’ve had at some point. I had a hermit crab named Sherwood when I was a kid).
- What other activities does your child like to do?
- Do you have any other children?/How many kids do you have?
- How old are your kids?
- What is your opinion on screen time?
- What screen time rules do you have?
- Do you use the city library?
Personal:
- What did you want to grow up to be when you were little?
- What do you like to do in your free time?
- Are you a night owl or a morning person?
- How do you like to de-stress?
- What activities were you involved in as a kid?
- What activities are you involved in now?
School/Education:
- What grade is your child in school?
- How long have your children attended here?
- How do you like the school?
- Have you heard of any good toddler classes in the area?
- How do you like your kids’ teacher?
Childbirth Topics:
(ok, you really have to use context here, but we moms do love to talk about our kids’ birth stories!)
- Where did you deliver?
- How was your experience in the hospital/birth center/ at home?
- Have you ever used a doula?
- Were there any complications with the baby?
- How was your recovery?
Art/ Entertainment:
- Have you seen any good movies lately?
- We saw Onward last night, have you seen it? (insert movie of choice)
- What’s your favorite vacation spot?
- What city or country do you really want to visit someday?
- What’s your favorite show on Prime or Netflix?
Take The First Step Toward A New Friendship
Starting a conversation can be the first step to making a new friend. It’s hard to slow down and take the chance to interact with other moms when we’re rushing,
But when your world of tiny humans is swirling around you, remember to take a moment to come up for air.
Keep your eyes peeled for moms to chat with and pull out one of the above conversation starters. That way you won’t miss out on a potential new friend!
